041cultire Writer Mvume Ndima unpacks the absurdity of modern warfare and the internet’s role in turning geopolitical conflict into a full-blown meme battle.
The “military operation” in Iran enters its 6th week following a very special Easter tweet from the president of America.
“Open the fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH” is a fascinating take on diplomacy if i’ve ever seen one.
But I’m not here to poo poo the poor posts of a potential psychopath with a Wifi connection I would kill for, no, I’m here to discuss the absolute silliness of this entire endeavor.
I’ve recently taken a break from social media for fear that my brain is actually rotting, and living life IRL is highly underrated, but upon my return to the hellhole that is X (it’s not Twitter anymore… it’s something so much grosser now) I came across, easily my favourite part of modern warfare.
So in addition to the actual bombings, drone strikes and strategic attacks each side has taken against one another, one fascinating battlefront has gained all of my attention in recent weeks. I’m talking, of course, about… the great meme war!
Started by the U.S (duh) the real battle for the hearts and minds of the globe is taking place online. It all started in the early stages of the war. America, in true American fashion, created long edits over upbeat music, interlaying well-known video game screenshots and sounds, real footage of drone strikes and presented as they always do, as Americans with guns and eagles!
In meme terms… The shit was pure ass… Boring, dated, and quite frankly, some old boomer nonsense.. trash, throw it out…
Iran, however, seems to have studied their opponent’s every weakness and used it against them in the funniest ways imaginable.
All weekend various Iranian embassy accounts have been vocal and actively antagonising the Americans, with such gems as the Zimbabwean embassy to Iran tweeting “We lost the keys” in response to Trump’s demand to open the Strait.
Trump’s threat to open the Strait had a deadline of Tuesday 07/04/2026 20:00 “Eastern time” for Iran to comply with his demand… The embassy once again responded in kind stating, “20:00 is not that good. Could you change it to between 13:00 and 14:00.., or if possible, 01:00 and 02:00?
Thank you for your attention to this important matter.”
And my personal favourite… the diss tracks! At the time of writing, Iran has released several diss tracks aimed at the U.S and specifically at Trump, making claims of Iran’s military achievements thus far, claiming to have destroyed 17 U.S owned assets in the war and asking Trump why the U.S has made a point of censoring satellite images of the region to other Americans? What are America hiding?
Now as a big rap guy, myself, it must be said that the bars themselves are garbage and easily forgettable, and something about hearing the “k-word” in a non-South African accent is jarring, but my word is it great to see the same guy being humiliated by the tool he used to humiliate others so frequently.
We haven’t forgotten how Trump depicted former US president Obama and his wife as monkeys, how he made AI videos of him literally dumping faeces on the heads of citizens who disagree with him, seeing him being called a PDF file by a lego Iranian using an American accent over a trap-style beat is another hit of that good good irony we spoke about last.
One of the weirdest things about living through all the crazy stuff we’ve lived through as a generation, is the thought of how history would look back at us. How would history remember the great recession of 2008? The Fifa World Cup of 2010? The pandemic in 2020 and the release of the Epstein files in 2025 all linger in my mind as moments that our kids’ kids’ would read about one day in a textbook (probably some kinda tablet by then).
When my kids’ kids read about the great meme war of Iran, my only hope is to be mentally and physically fit enough to explain exactly how unserious this entire thing has been.
Oh, also by the way, speaking of the World Cup, I would be remiss not to mention the dog water official track for this year’s Fifa World Cup. I do not encourage anyone to listen or look it up, especially if you still remember what Waka Waka did for the streets, this Jellyroll, Kid Rock type-beat song is enough to make me quit watching football all together.
As always, take care of yourselves, stay armed as warfare comes from any and all fronts guys… even the internet.
Thank you for your attention on this important matter.
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