By Odette Parfitt | 041Baby
With Mother’s Day coming up, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media about what the world’s toddler and baby moms want this year – ranging from sleep, to quiet, to the “toddler package” (throwing tantrums at mild inconveniences, countless snacks, and being tucked in to sleep for 12 hours on end).
For most of us with little ones, Mother’s Day means your partner is getting you a gift. So I was thinking: if your gift as a mother is coming from your spouse instead of your child, why shouldn’t you get a gift from yourself as well?
That is what I plan to do this Sunday: my gift to myself will be self-care. I plan to have a cup of coffee while it’s still hot, and read my book, and wear comfortable pants, and eat ice cream if I want to. When my son was a newborn, “self-care” seemed like just another thing on my to-do list that I wasn’t getting to; now that he is two years old, I know that self-care is just the little moments of peace you give yourself in between the beautiful chaos of parenting.
I know self-care can be hard to manage though, especially in the earlier months/years of your child’s life. So, I asked some friends what self-care looks like for them:
“Self-care is making the shower a little hotter because you are finally alone; attempting to make social plans with other moms to not feel alone; warm embraces from little bodies to show you it’s all worth it. Oh, and grilled cheese toasties!” – Chaune van Eeden
“Reading a magazine with a hot cup of coffee, getting my nails done, and meet-ups with other moms.” – Suzanne Loubser
“Self-care to me looks like time alone to refill the cup: it looks like reading, or going for a massage, or even just sitting and journalling in quiet for a few minutes; going to bed early, going to gym – just making sure the cup is filled as much as I can so I can be the best mom I can be.” – Merle Heideman
“Self-care means doing a workout, taking the time to put on a face mask, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, eating well and spending time with friends and family.” – Anzel van Schalkwyk
“As a mom, self-care doesn’t always mean bubble baths or spa days, it’s about intentionally carving out a few moments each day just for me. Working remotely doesn’t make the day any less demanding; in fact, the lines between home, work, and parenting often blur. That’s why I’ve made it a priority to take at least 10–20 minutes daily to do something that fills my cup. Some days that’s a quiet cup of tea before the kids wake up, other days it’s a quick walk, an episode of Friends, or simply sitting silently in prayer. It’s not about how much time you have, it’s what you do with it that matters. Self-care helps me reset and show up better for my family and myself.” – Deneesha Pillay-Kops
“Self-care is realising you can’t pour from an empty cup, so I make time to do my hobbies even if it means washing, cleaning or dishes have to wait. This includes 30-minute walks, painting classes, walks with kids and dogs on the beach, or long baths after the kids go to bed.” – Anke Oberem
“Self-care is a day alone, just watching TV in a quiet house, having my coffee, sleeping some more – sleep is very important. I really need to switch my phone off sometimes as well.” – Kedibone Adams
“Self-care to me is about giving myself time to be a human, not just a mom. I get up about an hour and 30 minutes earlier in the morning, before the kids, to have some quiet time with coffee and my Bible AND I’ve also joined the gym … to leave the house and to spend some time doing something that’s just for me. Self-care is very much about my mental, spiritual and emotional well-being.” – Octayvia Naidoo
This Mother’s Day, if no one else has told you this yet: you’re doing an amazing job. Take a moment. Take a breath. Take a bite of cake in peace. And give yourself the gift of a little care.
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