MVUME NDIMBA
Trigger warning: Contains frank discussions on gender inequality and toxic behaviour.
I’ve always had a fondness for women. Long before I had any sexual desires or interest in women on an adult level, I have always maintained strong relationships with women and do my best to put myself in their shoes whenever possible (sometimes it’s impossible… you guys are allergic to accountability and you know it.)
But besides the gender-war talking points, August 9th represents Women’s Day in South Africa. A day that commemorates the 20,000 brave women who marched to the Union buildings in 1956 to protest the Dompas laws, which restricted the movement of African women in urban and settled areas.
These brave souls gathered in protest of a government that saw them as docile, underfoot figures. Objects to be owned and controlled by the men they married, and let you be an unwed woman over the age of 20, you were practically as good as a used handkerchief.
White women, black women, coloured women and every baddie in between came together for the benefit of a marginalised group. I look back at old file photos from these events and think to myself, “why would these white ladies risk the comfort of being largely ignored by these laws just to help some sisters out?”
And my conclusion… They were just “built different”.
Over the last decade or so we’ve seen a rise in a particular “brand” of white… think Miley Cyrus in her twerking phase, Ariana with the self-tan or even the late Costa Titch and J Molley. There has been an active “seasoning” of traditional white people, their attire, dialect and mannerisms adopt a more ethnic energy as an aesthetic, until that is no longer profitable and they return to doing country music or whatever (i.e Both Justins, Miley and Ariana).
And that’s the main difference between those divas who ran down on the Union buildings and the brand of white we see today. Back then, you were what you were, no pandering, no changing your manner of speech or attire, you were Susan from Sandton who saw an evil government attempting to marginalise a massive group and thought “no man… that’s not fair!”
This generation is very different. This generation does what they do for the look of it all, they want to have the aesthetic without actually understanding the plight or context, we’ve seen a rise in female “redpill” influencers like Pearl who will repeat the toxic and blatantly misogynistic talking points that the boys bring up just to get some attention or to get a bag. We see women jumping on the Amerikaner bandwagon, pretending to be social commentators but really just act as a pretty mouthpiece for a racist white man who’s too scared to say his opinions out loud.
We lost the recipes guys… Not just on the side of the whites, but across the board. The queens who took that long walk to show unity and fight for equality understood why they were doing it. They understood firmly that as women, they were second-class citizens who enjoyed a more comfortable version of the same tyranny that befell the women they stood in solidarity with. These women (particularly the white ones) would look at some of you like a disappointment, truly.
Not because this new generation is too vocal, but they would look at this new generation and understand how lost and misinformed the majority of them are. These women endured, they saw what life was like under the thumb of the previous regime, they knew how little their life meant in the hands of their male counterparts and found solidarity in women who experienced the same disrespect and disillusionment. I am more than confident that the late Helen Suzman would look at her namesake Ms. Zille ,and tell her “Oh no, dear… not like this.”
I know the original baddie Mam’Winnie, would look to some of you “pick-me” women in disgust, after all the work she’s done, she would snatch each and every one of you up by the collar for allowing yourselves to actively choose to be a non-factor in your own household. To let men (who I have already established are embarrassing) have full autonomy over your body, your movements and who you associate with.
We have lost the recipes guys… and it shows in the end-product.
As a man, myself. I can assure you that the men are fucking up guys… Like across the board there is an insane rate of stupidity amongst our global leadership, from top-down. Even at a local, micro level men want to be the “prize” men want to be the baddie in the relationship. You are doing him no favours by allowing that sort of behaviour to be normalised.
This women’s month I need us all to remember who you are, we don’t need to be “equal” per se because that’s not what we were made for. The women who came before you used their voice to speak truth to power and build our nation up. Don’t undo all the hard work those sisters laid down by repeating the nonsense your boyfriend told you is true, Bantu migration is pseudoscience, men ARE capable of being monogamous and making more money than your partner does not give him license to disrespect you and treat you any way he wants to.
Just like those sassy mamas who marched against the Apartheid government, remember, if you don’t stand up and say something you can and will be next.
Happy women’s month guys.
Stay beautiful and don’t ever let a man tell you something that doesn’t make sense actually does make sense if you “think about it”. When has thinking about it ever been a man’s strong suit?
Leave a Reply