THIS Women’s Month 041Parenting columnist Luchae Williams talks about her experience raising a daughter and being a daughter herself.
Women’s Month is the time of year when we celebrate femininity and womanliness, in a flurry of pink-themed high teas and girly celebrations. Hear me out: I absolutely love pink glitter, high heels, and tiaras. But when it comes to raising my girl, I’ve realised that besides just celebrating her femininity, I also want her to value strength, resilience, and uniqueness. I mean, her femininity must be coupled with strength and independence, if she plans to run for presidency one day. Duh.
First off, raising strong independent girls is like teaching cats to do synchronized swimming. There’s a lot of screeching, possibly some drama and the occasional hairball. But fear not, fellow parentals, I come with some tips. (Who am I kidding, there is no manual when it comes to parenting girls, but humour me, would ya?)
Here are a couple of things I am doing to encourage my daughter to be fierce and independent:
Decision-Making 101
I try to encourage her to make decisions. Now, this usually only applies to the small stuff (I’m not asking her to choose between school and sleeping in) and it’s usually spur-of-the-moment, but the idea is to build her confidence in her own decision-making. I mean, it sounds wonderful, but it’s not always a fun time. This is particularly frustrating when homegirl wants to wear a tutu skirt and sandals in the middle of Winter (Based on a true story) But hey, how else will she learn that it’s flipping cold out there? The trick is to offer guidance and support (I mean, I’m not just leaving her to her own devices!)
Negotiation Station
Even though I am the queen parent, and she totally still must follow my rules, I do give her an opportunity to state her case if she is feeling particularly passionate about something. (So that’s like, everything. She’s passionate about ev.ery.thing.) My momma’s brain believes that this is teaching my daughter how to speak up for herself and communicate her point articulately without getting heated.
Train the Brain
Incorporate subtle life lessons into everyday activities. This is a great way to bring up topics that may be awkward to jump into, without their lead. I also ask questions like “How do you think that makes them feel?” or “Why do you think that is?”
Also, friend, did you guys think that Barbie only has one purpose? I mean, I’ve totally used a Barbie doll as a make-shift puppet, during our potty-training season. You should totally be using toys and household items to teach maths, physics and, you know, other academic-y things, like such.
Confidence Overload
Confidence is the glitter glue that holds the independent-girl puzzle together. Shower them with praise, remind them of their awesomeness daily, and watch them bloom like the princesses they are. Bonus: Confidence is also an excellent invisible shield against playground bullies.
Role Model Extravaganza
Introduce them to a lineup of fierce females who’ve kicked societal norms to the curb. From historical figures to contemporary trailblazers, let your girls know that the world is their oyster and they’re the pearl-producing masters.
As we celebrate Women’s Month, let’s revel in the magic of raising strong independent girls. It’s a journey of giggles, growth, and a lot of glitter (seriously, where is it all coming from?). In the grand tapestry of parenthood, raising strong, independent girls is like weaving together a symphony of laughter, imagination, and a dash of chaos.
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