Mental Health Issues Are More Common Than We Like To Admit

041culture columnist Mvume Ndimba takes a candid look at mental health as we head into national mental health month

October has always been a momentous month for the culture. As our favourite mean girl Katy leaned forward in her desk to tell the boy she likes that the date is October 3rd to the Full Metal Alchemist reminding you about October 3^rd to Drake’s Owl logo showing off October’s Very Own, we got big energy around October.

But what does all this have to do with mental health? Does the insecurity and anxiety of being rejected by your peers cause us to become the people we hate in order to fit in? Is hiding your first-born son “from the world” a sign of that same anxious insecurity? It’s important to always move forward, ignoring the things that hold you back in life, but would a mentally stable person burn their house down and start a quest to find some mythical philosopher’s stone?

I ask all these questions to ask “what is mental health and how do I monitor it?”

Being a black man, this question is one I had only asked myself in my mid 20’s, almost a decade on and I still don’t have an answer, but I can point to some symptoms, namely:

If you find yourself finding excuses to leave the house constantly (friends, work, errands, anything that could wait but you chose to make it urgent)
If you find yourself cheating or sleeping around excessively (Looking directly at my fellow Xhosa tribesman)
If your alcohol and drug consumption is way way up.
If your home is dirty

Your mental health CD4 count is extremely low.

So in order to get back on track and correct your mental health you have to check in with yourself. You have to be aware enough to identify the self-destructive actions, realise that they are not serving you and do something to correct or eliminate these behaviors.

I look to our elders, our moms, dads, aunties and uncles and see a perfect example of what not to do. Bottling up emotions, taking out your frustrations on your loved ones, making your life the biggest and most important thing in the household to the point that nobody is allowed to be in a good mood if you aren’t in a good mood. These are the self-destructive, house burning, Ndebele tribe fertility vase breaking, dead rapper dissing activities that drag the mental health of yourself and the people around you down. These sort of actions are the reason we lose so many loved ones to suicide (self-inflicted death) to the “wrong crowd” and worst of all, to the streets.

It is our responsibility to manage and monitor our own mental health and that has the knock on effect of fixing the mental health of everyone else around us, we owe it to our kids, our loved ones and our side chicks and dudes to be healthy, happy and successful people and all that starts with realizing that “hey, maybe I am the problem”

I know I started this article like I was going to offer you easy solutions like daily prayer, regular psychological therapy, meditation and a healthy sex life, but the things that work for me, might not necessarily work for you, the journey to healthy mental function is a long, lonely and tedious one, but the benefits far outweigh the work you put in and always remember, we all have problems, we all have traumas and pain that we cover up, just because you cant see the struggle that your peers endure doesn’t mean they’re not going through something. So don’t be ashamed to admit to yourself that “I have a problem” because that alone puts you miles ahead of the person you were yesterday.

Remember. You can’t love anything or anyone unless you love yourself first. So get naked in the mirror, play your favourite love song, look yourself in the eye and say “hey….you fine mf… I love you”

For your mental health ❤

Mvume Ndimba is a podcaster and writer, who describes himself as a “Young professional, new father and lifelong conspiracy theorist, who’s seen everything the city has to offer and eagerly seeks out more” His podcast (Before You Go) is a window into the things he finds interesting and with his column, he aims to take an “out of the ordinary approach to ordinary things”. He says: “You might not always agree with me, but ask yourself… did I lie?