So… this time last year I wrote a heartfelt message to all of our readers, giving hope and advice to move into 2024 without fear or regret of what could’ve been. To leave the past behind and go boldly into 2024 without the baggage and stress of the past.
I am here in 2025 to say… “hey, there’s always next year, you know?”
Now to be clear, I have not rekindled any old relationships (thank God) I have not had December sex with anyone I shouldn’t have but… I’m still carrying some 2023 in me as many of us are.
2025 is doing it’s absolute best to trick me into a backslide though, what with the EFF slowly dissolving into a puddle around Julus Malema (cheer or boo as you deem appropriate) the GNU has brought some positive change to the state of the country (cheer) but some of you… lets say lighter skinned Africans are letting that get to your head now… saying all kinds of crazy things because there’s suddenly some diversity in SA politics (only in SA can adding white people = diversity) but hey… TIA.
Speaking of light skinned people, our greatest export, Tyla continues to be her! She took the one hit wonder accusations personally and I’m here for it.
While our other travelling African Elon Musk is literally trying to break the Northern hemisphere. Teaming up with Donald Trump to introduce tariffs that my limited knowledge of geopolitics chalk up to hedging against the risk of BRICS and other global initiatives to move away from the US Dollar thereby devaluing it as a medium of trade.
America looks like a Gaviscon advert with their entire west coast looking like the tiny little white firemen inside every bottle of Gaviscon are working their way across East to West and these are the things that keep bringing me back to 2023 because how is my conspiracy brain supposed to react to all this?
The insurance company that covered that area of America that is currently on fire removed fire protection as part of their insurance coverage months before the inferno, plus its winter over there right now… who gets veld fires in winter???
I’m old enough to remember when Obama was president and Trump was making claims that he was not infact a US citizen, demanding to see a birth certificate (which never came) fast forward to 2024 and Donald is sitting right next to Obama kiki’ng with Donald at Jimmy Carter’s funeral. Trump is best friends with Elon Musk, an African-American with multiple baby mommas, so friendly in fact he offered Musk a job in government without having to pay or perform any unusual sex-act (to our public knowledge) ooh maybe that’s what that picture of him getting hosed down on a yacht was about last year?
After a pitiful showing at the 2024 national elections, the EFF has finally shown signs of weakness, losing multiple key members with Dr. Mbuyiseni Ndlozi resigning from the party most recently. The DA has proposed fast tracking VISAs for Ukrainian refugees while Operation Dudula continues, aiming to drive out illegal immigrants from our shores.
I just found out the border is more of a suggestion that runs on an honour system (we dont have a fence or wall or anything of the sort)
Conflict in Ukraine and Palestine rage on with few signs of either side quitting anytime soon, except now there’s a definite push to win the social media war by the sides that lets say… need the good PR.
Speaking of social media, the US government is trying to get Tik Tok banned unless the Chinese based company sells the asset to a US based company, Mark Zuckerberg probably cheating on his wife (I’ve seen that kind of glow up too many times. There’s a queen in his ear right now telling him to throw away those old hoodies and fire his old barber… they not slick i know a cheating man when i see one)
“You are the media now” is the catchphrase on Twitter (I’m not calling it that stupid name) slowly but surely showing the people of earth how little we can trust/rely on corporate media houses for objective unbiased news… Subscribe to our newsletter… we’re the media now!
Jay Z (the rapper) is fighting a case where he’s been accused of doing unspeakable things with a 12 year old alongside known freaky man P.Diddy. While Jay Z (the politician) sees his upstart party grow everyday.
But its not all doom and gloom!
Turns out Jacob Zuma was right about that fire pool business… they were using pool water to fight the fires in California… crazy turn of events.
The GNU is still a thing! It looked shaky in the beginning. I can’t lie but at this stage I think the sentiment of no news is good news for the time being.
Chris Brown came back for the first time since his collaboration with Ajax on that one episode of Generations… Good to see his career recover… I know his show had some controversy surrounding it with many human rights groups calling for South Africans to boycott the show… but he made “Take You Down” you know? Like I don’t want to advocate for a known abuser at all but come on… “Deuces” is still a bop, I’m sorry! Besides… if Rihanna can forgive him, then like… you know?
This December felt Decembish… I can’t really explain it but this year we turned a corner as a country… for the first time since the pandemic, December truly felt like December and I think that all the weird things that are going on right now are gently nudging us back to our destiny as a nation. That Tik Tok trend of playing “Kiss of Life” by Sade while the entire Eastern Cape showed the rest of SA how alcoholism is really done just felt like pre-pandemic December for me.
We are still a people of nice times, love and support and at this stage, the only advice I have for us all is to embrace the good, accept the bad and change what you can. The rest is God’s business…
And closing off on God’s business I want to conclude by sending my love to a literal giant in the music industry. RIP to Doc Shebeleza.
Your music was the soundtrack to my youth. Right when it was getting dark and me and siblings wanted to go home the adults would put on any one of your albums and I’d know I wasn’t seeing my bed for another 4 hours.
“Ebumnandini” was more than a song… it was a lifestyle. Because truly… when the ladies ask where they can find me at? Ebumnandini baby!
“Birthday Kuku” needs no further explanation.
“Ingagara” established eating pies as an ick.
Truly a pioneer of the Kwaito genre and a man who will be sorely missed. 51 years was not enough time with you sir.
Leave a Reply