The discovery of multiple women’s bodies near Kempton Park has once again forced South Africa to confront the violence women live with every day. In his latest column, Mvume Ndimba reflects on the reaction to the case, the conversations unfolding between South African men and women, and why he believes men need to stop shifting blame and start taking responsibility for changing the culture around them.
It’s been an incredibly difficult news week in South Africa as numerous women were found murdered and their bodies discarded near Kempton Park. The ongoing investigation has not yielded any tangible results, no identifiable DNA or fingerprint evidence, and so far, no suspects.
As much as it hurts to hear these stories and it absolutely takes a toll on your soul to keep hearing about death and abuse, it is critical that we engage with this story in a meaningful way. Femicide is rampant in South Africa and the perpetrators are almost always men. We have a duty, as men in this country, to defend the women around us, even if we don’t know them, from the actions of other men… and in this regard, we’ve failed.
I had been following the story all week, hoping to hear some good news, every update broke another piece of my heart as the only breaks in the case have been the discovery of new bodies. But the final straw, so to speak, was the reaction from South African men on social media.
Is there any safe place for women in this country?
Many women had taken to social media to express their frustration about the situation. The fear they live in constantly and the lack of freedom they have in our country. They brought up all the cases where a woman was just doing something completely ordinary and ended up being murdered. The club, the post office, work, or the mall, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, there is always a non-zero chance that as a woman, you will be murdered by some random guy.
One user asked a simple question, “Is there any safe place for women in this country?” and sadly… the answer is no. Even in death, there is no guarantee that some sick individual won’t take advantage of you, and all the SAPS can do is issue statements, tell women “hey guys, try not to get murdered, don’t go get groceries, don’t go for a jog, just stay inside and pretend you don’t exist”.
It saddens me to see the lack of real action taken by our officials, but also at a citizenry, we haven’t done our duty. We’re comparing statistics of male death vs. females ignoring the fact that human life is sacred and to take life from another person is a most unforgivable sin. We point fingers at foreign nationals, claiming it’s them and not us, but that doesn’t matter because regardless, lives were lost, and our response as a nation is to tell the targets to stay in the kitchen basically.
It’s time to stop shifting the blame
It’s time for a complete overhaul, the gender-war business has gone on long enough. We are not fixing the problem by shifting blame. The only true solution is to fix the behaviour. We need to be actively showing the next generation (and our peers) the way forward through meaningful and sincere support of one another.
This recent story isn’t anything new for our country, there are over 40 confirmed serial killers in our nation’s history, across racial and gender lines, there is nothing new about murder in our country, the only thing new is how we rationalise and justify it. Yesterday they blamed black people of South Africa, called us savage and out of control, today we blame foreigners and tomorrow, who knows.
My heart aches for the victims of this recent discovery and I pray the perpetrator(s) is/are caught and severely punished. But until they are found, let’s do what we can to be there for each other, love one another and protect each other from harm,
Editor’s note: At the time of writing, it is believed that three suspects have been identified and detained in relation to these crimes. We pray that justice is served and that the perpetrators of these heinous acts are punished to the full extent of the law.
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