041culture columnist Mvume Ndimba takes a candid tongue in cheek look into why January is relegated to the least favourite month by so many.
January is depressing.
A month dedicated to a new start, new beginnings and new challenges seems to have us collectively down.
We leave our hometowns to go back to the city where we are forced to work and earn a living, our favourite cousins and aunties go back into the mental vault until the next family function, our weekends are suddenly filled with contemplations of “Do i go out tonight or eat?”
The power in our bank accounts is as drained as our energy reserves, we have nothing left to spend, and nothing left to give. But why?
Why is it that this beautiful month when we’re finally given freedom away from our annoying kids and our broke ass cousins who always have a business plan that will make millions in 2 weeks, from the unending FOMO that makes every day between the 16th of December to the 15th January feel like you’re missing the party of the year, what is it about this month that has us all down in the dumps?
I have a theory… But before i give you my thinking on it, let me quote from “divorceattorneycapetown.co.za” to give you a little background and let you understand where i’m going with this. According to this source
” Many couples start divorce proceedings in January
But it is a time when many couples take the first steps towards ending their union.”
The reasons given for this interesting bit of information are pretty benign, they talk about the reality setting in that they will never be as happy in January as they were in December, the sobering knowledge that whatever transpired in the December prior, is the future for that relationship (alcoholism, partying too much, poor communication etc.) , but my theory is far simpler and maybe nowhere near as elegent…
The best part of December (in my opinion) is the excitement and surprise of bumping into old friends and flings, those conversations that start with “You wont believe who i bumped into” and end in “call em up lets go get a drink.”
I believe wholeheartedly that this is the beginning of every break up. This is where the seeds for the January divorce are sewn… fast forward past Christmas day, New Years and back to work, that “Its been so long, I’m so happy to see you” conversation that has you looking at your partner a little different is the reason January just straight up sucks.
Suddenly the Saturday morning shopping trips feel like cruel torture because your mind has now shifted from the bargain in front of you to the lingering thought of “We should get together again sometime.”
The sounds and smells of his hour long toilet trips have now shifted from a mild inconvenience, to a direct and personal attack on you because now all of a sudden those sounds offend you compared to the sound of your old friend saying “You look great, i cant believe you’re a mom now!”
The scent coming from that man you married in your bathroom smells like a personal attack, as it competes with the memorable scent of “his” cologne that lingers for months in your nostrils.
That netflix bill, the cellphone bill, the car payments and insurance all come together to put the walls and the gate up around your personal prison to where the sound of your partner blinking is enough to send you over the edge.
December for celebration and enjoyment. It is NOT a time for new beginnings, it is NOT a time to start “new” relationships and it damn sure is not a true reflection of what life is supposed to be.
December was fun. But thats its job, December’s job is the 7th day, when God rested and Adam and Eve took that opportunity to expand their pallette and now we have to work every day to afford to eat and travel to work every day.
I pray your holiday was everything you dreamed of, i pray your long lost fling linked up with you and his/her sex was trash, his/her face was worn out and his/her breathe smelled terrible!
We’re in January now, dont let yourself fall into the trap of comparing day 1 where the earth was void and empty with day 7 where you’ve worked and toiled and built a world for yourself and loved ones.
Lets move forward the right way.
A wise man once said “You have an unnatural allegiance to losers, and it’s not like you” Let these powerful words from Mr. Katt Williams guide you through this month and the other 10 that follow. “its not like you” to love losing, “its not like you” to align yourself with losers and “its not like you” to make long term decisions based on short term emotions.
Go with love!
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